Posted by: Elle | April 5, 2010

Comfort Zone

The amount of things I did to stay in my comfort zone when taken and literally tossed from it, but with a promise of a fair chance to stay there, is incredible. The night this all happened, I broke a promise of going to crossfit with a friend. I texted my Aunt and avoided answering the phone like a plague. There were only a few people I could talk to. I drove and drove and drove. I sat in parking lots and almost got kicked out. I called the lady at landmark sobbing. I stopped making plans, and making excuses.  I just did. There were so many emotions I was feeling, but the biggest one was sheer terror. “What am I going to do without this place?” I kept asking. However, I was determined to never have to find out. I set boundaries, I set things into action.

Everything was uncomfortable. I went and attended advanced, which, aside from the forum, was probably the most uncomfortable 3 days of my life. Well maybe 2, because the last day pretty much rocked. The boundaries were the hardest ones I’ve ever had to set. I had to be bold. I had to stop living for everyone else, and start living for me. I had to start loving my life. This was it—it was do or die. A matter of life or death if you will.  

I had been told this so many times in the past. “Elle, do you know how ridiculous this sounds? You can’t take anymore? You need to LOVE your life.” Eventually, that same person who told me this constantly was the one who threw me out of my comfort zone like you would throw a drunk out of a bar.

Now, here we are four months later, and everything is still uncomfortable. But it’s sort of that exciting, don’t know what’s going to happen next kind of uncomfortable. Being outside of my comfort zone simply makes it so that I’ll reach my goals faster, and my dreams faster. And most days I can put up with that. If you get comfortable, you stagnate. And what’s the point of a life that’s not moving and changing.

Don’t get me wrong, some days I yearn for the familiarity of being comfortable. For things to be a little bit easier. But then I remember that it is what it is. And that I’m in this for the long run. Loving life doesn’t happen overnight—and I’m committed to loving my life.

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